Two Years Since Sister’s Death, and All I Have Are Dreams
This will always be known as the worst day of my life. Waking up at 5:30 in the morning to hear that your younger sister has passed away is not something that I ever wish on anyone. When my older sister A. told me that Kristine had died, I felt like dying myself. It was something that I couldn’t believe or comprehend. Someone who had been a part of my life for almost all of it was gone in an instant. I felt that maybe I was being punished for something I had done because the pain was too unbearable.
I remember the dream I had the night that I found out Kristine had passed away. It was dark, and I was walking to my car alone. I had just left the house (practically ran away) where everyone was crying over her loss. When I got in the car, I knew there was someone in the backseat, and I also knew that it was Kristine.
She said, “I’m so sorry Shevonne.”
I said to her, “I don’t think I am strong enough to deal with this. I can’t live without you.”
“You have to for the kids. You have to be strong.”
“I just miss you so much already.”
“You will be fine. Promise me that you will try.”
I didn’t listen to her words at first. For weeks, I barely ate or slept. It was finally after the 3rd or 4th month of behaving like a zombie and alienating myself from my family and friends that I realized that I had to snap out of it. My son came to me and said, “Mommy, will you ever be ok?” I realized that for the sake of my kids, I needed to stop acting as though I was dead myself.
Last night I had another dream. The whole family was together, and we were at a resort. We were all tired and sad even though we were in these beautiful surroundings. My dad’s mother sat next to my grandmother and said, “Now that Kristine is no longer here, they only have to worry about A. and Shevonne.” It hit me, and I ran away crying. I walked on a dirt path that was surrounded by trees. The only light came from the moon. Even though I was crying, I knew it was a dream.
I said, “Please let me see my sister. I need to see her so I know that she is there with me. I don’t want to wake up until I do.”
When I returned to the resort, A. and Kristine were there. I hugged both of them while they looked at me like “What in the world is wrong with her?”
I looked at Kristine, and she looked at me. I gave her another huge hug, and she hugged me back. She said, “Shevonne, chill out. I’m fine, and you two are as well.”
After hugging her a bit longer, she was gone.
I want to think, or else I know, that it was my sister. I miss her so much, but I know that she wants me to keep being strong and carry on.
I love you Kristine.













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